One of the things that has been on my mind lately is how husbands should treat their wives. This also applies to boyfriends as they too do apply in many areas for them. After I had divorced in 2007, I had gone through many changes in my life, my emotional being, and I changed in ways that I still can not explain. I like to think of my time single as a time of personal reflection, evaluation and while it was hard many days and nights to not have someone to come home to or call my wife, I was being changed without realizing it.
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her. Eph 5:25 NLT
This was one of the first things that I remembered from growing up in the church and from sermons. Whether you are religious or not, the principle message here is that husbands should love their wives so much that they would not think twice about laying down their life for her. They defend her and will be at the ready to do so.
Another thing that came in my mind was a visual thought which I still remember to this day, a figure of a woman in a glowing gown of sorts being lifted up on a stool high above the crowd. This represented to me that we need to be proud to show her as your wife and lover, and friend to those that you meet. It is more than this though - husbands should also express their love toward their wife on a regular basis. Compliments should be bestowed on her, and she should be made to feel absolutely loved beyond a shadow of a doubt.
When you complement someone, you gently lift up their spirit in a tiny way, you help build their self esteem and you make them feel like they are worth something in their life to someone. This, is like also lifting her up on a stool just a little bit higher. There is never a day where I do not tell Mandy I love her. I often find myself saying to her at least once an hour or sometimes many more times. I am always telling her how beautiful she is in my eyes and how much I am blessed to have her in my life. I do not take her for granted, and make sure she knows I need her.
This August, we will approach our 8th wedding anniversary and 9th year of knowing each other. Our marriage is strong and I can honestly say, that as a married couple, we have endured much more than most people can imagine. We have gone through trials by fire many times. Our love has grown strong as a result and continues to grow every day. When I met her, it was through e-mail as a result of my posting a personal ad on Craigslist at the time. I had all but given up on finding someone in my life and then her reply to my ad appeared in my inbox. We hit it off very naturally, within a couple of weeks, we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that we would be married to each other. As our love grew, so did our bond and commitment to each other.
I have tried to practice the love that Christ loved the church (and still does), in as many ways as I can for her. In little was such as opening the car door for her, letting her go inside the apartment first, buying her roses, giving her back rubs, or even just holding her hand while driving.
Too many times I hear about or see couples fighting, tearing each other down, taking emotional jabs at each other. This does nothing but bring hurt into the relationship, and puts wedges into the strong bonds that couples build. It makes me feel bad for them when I see this happening. A couple of months ago, we had neighbors who moved in downstairs. From the first moment I saw the wife, I knew her relationship was not good. Her countenance on her face showed it even though she briskly walked past me to her new apartment. The weekend later, they moved in, I briefly saw the interaction between husband and wife, and witnessed the wedges in the relationship almost instantly. The next couple of months that followed, were filled with yelling, fighting, slamming of doors, banging of walls hard enough to shake the walls, husband storming out the door and slamming it hard late at night etc. In February, the family left the complex and eviction notices were placed on the door. For weeks, the maintenance department was busy repairing the damages done to the apartment. I can only wonder where they are now and hope that their relationship can improve.
For those of you who are husbands or boyfriends reading this, please treat your wife like the Princess she really is in your life. Do not take her love for granted, and always tell her you love her and how beautiful she is. You will not regret it!